The Palladium List Guide to Flaming:

Seeing all of this immature arguing floating around, and being a long-time flamer myself, I felt it was my duty to make a stand. I feel I am speaking for all contributors on the list (this is a joke, guys), and being that self proclaimed spokes chicken, it is my duty to bring to you my wisdom.

There is a common misconception among the flamers that, the list as a whole, gives a shit about their problems. Well, we don't. As a matter of fact, it turns our stomachs just having to read the threads -- either that or we laugh at your immaturity. Whatever. The point is though, if you are going to waste the lists time, then we the chickens would appreciate it if you would follow a few rules.

1. Don't be smart-ass and a dumb-ass at the same time.
2. Know the constant, and stick to it.
3. At least attempt to pay attention.
4. Avoid annoying habits.
5. Know the Truth.

1. Don't ever attempt to be intelligent and condescending at the same time. I can't tell you how annoying that is. It's just like some of you sit with dictionaries by the computer just waiting to throw in more useless words, into what is already a boring thread.

   EX. "It grieves me to see how one could have been so maliciously close-minded when discussing the three-dimensionality of my character, which is only an extension of my imagination."

   Now what this person should have said:

   EX. "Hey, nutsack. It's my fucking character, not yours."

   See how much less space it takes? Now I understand that many on the list feel that they might look bad if they use 'profanity'. But I think we all agree that we hate reading flamers by condescending pricks even more.

   EX. "Allan Harrison is one of the most missed poster to the list."

   Using big words doesn't make anyone respect you--especially when the members of the list have to sift through it just to see if there ever was a point to what you were saying.

2. Seeing as how the palladium books are the only constant between any of us (thanks to whoever originally pointed this out), do not quote rules that you made up, during a flame. And do any of us really care about those rules anyway? Congratulations! You guessed it! We don't give a shit.

   EX. "Well, uhh, I, uhh don't care if all symbiotes that leave Wormwood die! Do ya hear me? I don't care! It's different in my game."

   Well dumb-ass, of-fucking-course it's different in your game. Hello! Are you that unaware of your surroundings? All of our games are different. It's just a cop-out for the idiots that quote the RPG books, before reading them.

3. When you are participating in a flame, please--for god's sake--pay attention to the conversation. Some of the idiots around here start flaming shit they don't know anything about (I've broken this rule a couple of times). There is little more annoying than having to sift through a bunch of crap, and then read someone going off on it, and the flamer has no damn clue what he is talking about (sometimes, the cause of this is a violation of rule 'B').

   Suppose there is a thread about multiple parrying:

   EX. "I think it's fuckin' dumb that Juicers™ get an automatic dodge!"

   Hello? Why argue a completely unrelated topic? All this proves, is that you are too illiterate to read the original message in the first place. And again, this is annoying to us, the reader, and is just makes you look dumb.

4. There are two typing techniques that all flamers should avoid. That is, aside from sharing their views in the first place. They are the capitol letter technique, and the exclamation point maneuver.

   EX. "YOU FUCKING IDIOT. HOW COULD YOU LACK SUCH BALL-AGE. I HOPE YOUR MOTHER DIES FROM THE CLAP THAT SHE GOT FROM MY DOG. AND I HOPE YOUR DAD STOPS PLAYING 'HOUSE' WITH YOUR 26 YEAR OLD SISTER."

   See? It's just a pain to read. And also:

   EX. "Your are _____ (add pointless word here)!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

   Wow. There are so many exclamation points, maybe I should take it seriously!!! Yeah, fuckin' right. And some assholes like to combine both of these techniques:

   EX. "...because you are a DICKHEAD!!!!!"

   And these are the most annoying of them all. I could cry. The only answer I can come up with, is that some of you idiots mistake e-mail for a phone line.

   Repeat after me:

   1. When I write an e-mail, the other person can NOT hear me scream.
   2. Exclamation points do not make my flame more important.
   3. The person I am trying to flame will not commit suicide, no matter how many letters I capitalize.
5. Lastly, I want to bring a few of you morons back to earth. If someone hates you, does your life end? No. There, now the suspense is gone. Can they find you? Probably not. Even if they could find you, could a geek that spends all of his time on flames--kick your ass? I should hope not. Do you see the point now?

Understand that flames wars are just like fights between those rich, preppie, white kids that thought they were better than everybody else. You remember high school, right? They would push each other and threaten each other, and talk as hard as nails, but no matter how long you watched and wanted it -- they'd never just beat the shit out of each other, and shut the fuck up.

Date: Tue, 17 Sep 1996

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    ## \   \) ) ) } _/   Tony.
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flaming.php -- Revised: January 27, 2021.