S.D.C. in Rifts

By: Blue Max
Created on: October 16, 1998

I was reading the debate about SDC in Rifts, and I had an epiphany. GM to player group at the beginning of a camaign:

GM: OK, guys, here's the situation: you guys are representatives of Chipwell Industries;...

PLAYERS (horrified): WHAT????

GM: ...in other words, you're salesmen. Which means that you can use all the Chipwell equipment you want, but you have to make it look good. No ditching it as soon as you're out of sight of the factory.

Players: Oh, man....

GM: Remember guys, this is on commision. No sales, no paycheck.


GM: No, you can't have the mini-missle upgrade to the Chipwell armor. And stop eying my copy of South America 2. (To the rest of the group) C'mon, it's not that bad. I want all of you to come up with a bright side to an all-SDC game.

REAL ROLEPLAYER: Selling Chipwell to the natives? I love a challenge. Hey, I've been pushing for an all-SDC Rifts game since day 1. Now we just need to have an all-SDC, no ranged weapons game. With our hands and legs tied together. Blind. Blind and deaf and dummmph! (Real Man clamps hand over Roleplayer's mouth)

REAL MAN: You mean, you'll put down your Long Pistol, and I'll put down my grenade launcher, and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people? (5 points to anyone who IDs this! Why just 5? Come on, it ain't _that_ hard.) BRING IT ON!!! (Gets up and begins shadow-boxing)

LOONY: An upside to an all-SDC game? My Nerf bow-and-arrow is on par with everyone else's weapons! My first act in the game will be to discard my bow-and-arrow. My new weapon is my hand, in the shape of a gun. (Starts pointing his new "gun" around the table at the other players) Kapow! Kapow! Blam! Blam! Blam! Gotcha!

PSYCHOPATH: With S.D.C. knives, you have to get up close and personal, and get their blood and guts and brains and... (commences drooling and muttering to self).

MUNCHKIN: If everyone else is armed and protected with SDC, they won't expect my Gizmoteered Anti-Tank Rifle. (Uncharacteristically stops talking, wondering why his voice just cracked)

GM: (Begins hitting head against the wall.) Must (thump) find (thump) new (thump) group! (thump)

SDC_in_Rifts.php -- Revised: January 27, 2021.