Top Ten Reasons Elves are Better than Dwarves

By: Nexx Many-Scars

  1. Dwarves didn't have enough of a culture for anybody to remeber it, even poorly.
  2. You never see an elf walking around with food in his beard.
  3. You never see an elf walking around looking like a short version of "Santa Claus".
  4. Elven Samurai rule. Who needs a bonus to Strength or Body when you have a bonus to Quickness and a decent running multiplier?
  5. Elves can outclass, outcook, and out-think those lard-butt tunnel diggers any day.
  6. There are no immortal elves, but those dimwit flathead stunts think there are.
  7. Elves don't get people walking into them and saying "oops, I didn't see you down there".
  8. ????? is a dwarf. 'nuff said.
  9. Screw Tolkien, he's hardly a good writter of BOOK's, much less songs.
  10. Elves are the only subrace where both genders don't have hideiously excessive back and body hair.

ElvesBetter.php -- Revised: January 27, 2021.