If you are going to play Rifts®, Remember The Following...
By: Steve Trustrum
Ok, here is some stuff that will hopefully make you all laugh.
- So what if not all CS troops are evil, shoot them anyways.
- Fusion blocks make great keys.
- Always test your latest TW invention BEFORE going into a fight.
- If the GM went through the trouble of making a full character sheet for the villain, you
aren't going to kill him.
- If you don't have at least one psychic or mage in the party, you are STUPID!
- Never attempt a death blow ... hello! waste of an attack!
- You always get a 20 when you are trying to roll with damage and a 1 when you are trying to
strike... Murphy rides again...
- Never trust a vampire who says he is a rogue
- Carpet of Adhesion is GOOD!!!!!
- Trying to distract Dog Boys with milk bones is never a good idea
- Trying to distract them with a cat is worse
- Installing giant speakers in your robot vehicle, then playing Iron Man by Black Sabbath
when going into battle tends to make you a target.(I did this with a character once for
- Never tell the GM you slept with his sister right before a gaming session.
- If the pay is low 'cause the mission is supposed to be simple, hold out for more pay.
- If the GM laughs maniacally as you sit down to play, have your PC start sleeping with a
laser pistol under his pillow.
- Always kill the character of the player who passes notes to the GM before he gets you.
- When you want to use a certain weapon, it is too heavy, when the villain NPC wants to use
it, he can use one in each hand
- Never go near a rift just after your GM buys a new worldbook
- It only works properly until your character tries to use it
- When you make a new O.C.C./R.C.C. it is stupid, when the GM makes a new O.C.C./R.C.C.,
expect the next 20 villains you run into to be one
- If you don't have a character in the party with a robot vehicle with a missile payload of
30+ missiles, get one...
- Wildfire around corners is never wasted ammo
- Most GMs don't appreciate a player groups spontaneous "side-trips" if he spent the past
2 weeks working on the adventure
- When in Mexico, paint and sew crosses on EVERYTHING!!!! even your underwear (don't ask)
- Turn troublesome fellow players over to the CS as soon as possible, you will feel better
and your fellow players will thank you
- Stuff the GM makes himself automatically has the following as a special ability:
-Ignore laws of Nature, Physics and Reason
- While speaking to the GM, never start a sentence off with the following: "Well in MY
campaign it doesn't work like that...."
- There is no such thing as an easy way to destroy a Death's Head Transport
- If you're a mutant and you want to go to Chi Town, make sure you have the following powers:
-Disregard Stupid Moves
- If a GM created item sounds to good to be true, it is munchkin
- Always fire one missile more than you think is needed
- A PC that takes the time to develop a battle cry is going to get the whole party killed
- A laser pistol with a +1 to strike is good
- A rail gun with lots of ammo is better
- A long range, reflex multi-warhead missile is best
- Never fire a mach 1 missile while traveling at mach 2
- Security locks on equipment the GM doesn't want the party to have aren't all that secure
- Dragons make good allies
- Dragons make worse enemies
- Splugorth don't like to be called ugly freaks
- The GM will do anything to keep bookkeeping to a minimum, even if the PCs must suffer
- It is amazing how many months those 2 weeks of rations the player starts with can last
- 2 words: RUN AWAY
- Principled PCs get the party into more trouble than evil PC's.
- Your invulnerable character isn't
- Players who quote the rules word for word, line for line, are always the first to die
- Dog Boys don't like to be called "Fido"
- Telling a vampire to "Suck this" is never a good idea
- Orc characters are ugly no matter how high their Physical Beauty is.
- Never take a newbie on a covert op.
- Never take a munchkin on a covert op.
- NEVER take a newbie munckin ANYWHERE!
- Never underestimate the value of groveling.
- When playing a Dragon Juicer don't plan a trip to Dracona.
- Just because a man says he knows where you can find (fill in the blank) doesn't mean he
can always HELP your group.
- Trying to bribe a Cosmo Knight isn't a good idea.
- Neither is skipping a payment to Naruni Enterprisesl.
- When a dragon says leave, LEAVE.
- Don't walk around claiming to be a member of the Federation of Magic.
- If your going to fight against Pestilence bring bug spray.
- Trying to get in to see Splynncroth by saying "I'm an optometrist" may not be bright.
- When traveling through Mexico never tell the GM "Since the human body is 70% water and we
are moving the vampires can't touch us" it just gets them mad.
- Selling your fellow players into slavery may be fun and profitable but it won't win you
- Bungee jumping off a Death's Head transport into a Xitixic hive with a Thermo-Nuclear
bomb is not good (believe me I've tried).
- Picking on little Gargoyles only makes the bigger ones mad.
- Fairy folk are to be feared not laughed at.
- If a Dimensional Portal is in front of you, and a drunk Thor is behind you, take the portal.
- Psi-Hounds make bad pets.
- So do Splugorth, Dragons, Wolven, Gargoyles, etc.
- Never get drunk in an unfamiliar bar.
- Most dead PC's still have credits on their dead bodies.
- Breaking the law in Atlantis is good, Kreeghor space is not.
- Trying to flood Chi-Town with your Water Elemental spells can't happen.
- Hunting a Gene-Splicer can only lead to trouble.
- The Millennium Trees don't like it when you carve "Romeo loves Juliet" or "(blank) was
here" on it's trunk.
- Stealing magic and rune weapons from a God is bad.
- Stealing magic and rune weapons from Atlantis is just plain stupid.
- Although running naked into the battlefield screaming obscenities is funny it rarely
distracts the enemy from killing you.
- Never fire a missile with a 20 foot blast radius into a hallway only 10 feet wide.
- Never let the psionic hold the magic artifact.
- No matter how weird the creature is, or how weak it looks, do NOT take it on hand to hand.
- The best way to kill anything is from a long way away and with the absolute assurance that
it won't be getting back up.
- It's grab your rifle, THEN look outside.
- No matter how good the plan seems, no matter how many troops you have backing you up, you
are not going to take over Lone Star. (trust me...).
- Always check your field of fire (a character got shot by a Grenadier for not doing this a
- Grenadiers shooting other party members makes great cover for sneaking up on the villian.
- Beheading villians when they are distracted by Grenadier fire isn't as difficult as it looks.
- Beheading villians tends to bring the group back into focus. (can you tell something like
this happened recently?)
- Aimed shots are never as effective as called shots.
- Called shots are never as effective as a volley of mini-missiles.
- If it has Runes on it, leave immediately.
- If forced to jump through a Rift, remember to hit the ground rolling.
- When in the Engineering Compartment of a starship, make sure the controls are MDC before
firing area effect weapons, no matter how big the group of bad guys is. (trust me again...)
- Do not insult the GM/NPC's/Other Players
- Don't jump into any large blue/white swirly thing without due protection
- When hit by MD Weapons, don't brag about the fact that your armour can take lots more of that.
- Anyone dressed in red/black is likely to try to kill you.
- Don't try any flashy moves/ways to get out of the situation when the other guy has a gun
to your head. (Amazing how many people try this)
- Anything ticking and not clock shaped is genraly not a good idea to stand next to.
- Don't shout "Up Yours Prosek!" At a coalition rally (Another blunder)
- No matter WHAT you think, you are not invincible.
- "With subtlty" DOES NOT MEAN go in there wearing power armour and Anti-tank laser rifles.
- THE GM IS ALWAYS RIGHT!
- Remember that for all their cosmic power, Cosmo-Knights cannot detect evil.
- Remember for all their minor powers, many Cyber-Knights can detect evil, and will want to kill it.
- Good characters get the party killed more often than evil characters.
- When your GM has bought a new worldbook, the safest place to be is very far from a Rift.
Things_to_Remember.php -- Revised: January 27, 2021.