Lesson's Learned...

By: Ovid L Pinckert

  1. Getting impaled by vibro-blades hurts. (Says the nightbane)
  2. Urinating on a vampire hurts them just as much as water.
  3. Urinating on a vampire pisses them off more than water.
  4. Never underestimate the effectiveness of mini-missiles.
  5. If mini-missiles don't work, try silver.
  6. Never start anything you can't finish (preferably to component atoms.)
  7. If it looks big and powerful, it probably is.
  8. If it looks small and unassuming, it probably isn't.
  9. Always post a guard.
  10. Make sure your guards have some protection against possession.
  11. Rusty weapons are almost always magical.
  12. Shiny weapons are almost always cursed.
  13. The Xiticix have only one real strategy: the 85-to-1 kill ratio strategy.
  14. ...The Xiticix strategy is very effective.
  15. The only good faerie is a dead faerie.
  16. Faerie mounds are best left alone.
  17. Want to earn a lot of credits quickly? There are two things you need:
       A Phase Beamer and a lone Glitter Boy...
  18. Want to earn a lot of credits quickly? Remember, the Splugorth will pay up to 4 million credits for dragon hatchlings (you can always get new friends, and dragon hatchlings tend to be very naive...)
  19. Vampire intelligences hate TW rain flares.
  20. Most vampire intelligences know the spell Anti-Magic Cloud.
  21. TW rain flares aren't the only TW weapons affected by Anti-Magic Cloud.
  22. Mounds of dirt are only effective cover against MD weapons once.
  23. You can't parry a vibro-blade with your arm... not even once!
  24. When you're in a strange clearing, and hear voices in your head that normally don't belong to you. Run!
  25. When bald headed old men smile evily at you their usualy a mind melter.
  26. Never expect a bar to keep standing after you walk in.
  27. A box with funny looking symbols on it means that its gaurded with death wards, and that you shouldn't open it.
  28. Pissing on the statue of a god (especialy Aeris) is a BAD thing.
  29. ...Especialy in his own temple.
  30. Going one on one with an adult dragon is a bad thing for your health.
  31. The nice, old, bound up man isn't.
  32. Don't piss of the big dog-like looking thing thats eating a dead CS soldier.
  33. Lone Star is a great place to stay away from.
  34. Don't knock on the doors of Chi-town if you're a hatchling dragon.
  35. Always ask for payment in advance.
  36. Negotiating with an Evil-Overlord is pointless except to stall for time.
  37. 300 to 1 odds, very bad odds.
  38. The mysterious party member dressed completely in black is probably a spy.
  39. Strange Glowing Swords that appear out of no-where are probably magical.
  40. Using Mechano-Link on a non-AI spaceship's computer can cause chaos.
  41. Co-operation is best kind of stalling.
  42. Activating explosives on the power-core of an enemy ship causes a huge explosion if the ship is in the middle of a space-fold jump.
  43. Never use a B.F.G. on a spaceship when the B.F.G. is set on it's maximum settings.
  44. Evil-Overlord Rule #20, means you have exactly a minute and 17 seconds less than you think you do.
  45. Always launch the escape shuttle as soon as it is prepped, and not four seconds before the ship you are on is about to self-destruct.
  46. Malfunctions give great windows for escape, as long as their your enemies malufunction.
  47. ...Corrallary to #46: malfunctions make great distractions.
  48. Distance Teleportation is great for getting out of tight spots.
  49. ...Corrallary to #48: Last minute teleportations are great for giving the appearance of death.
  50. Huge cocoons are sign of trouble.
  51. Corrallary to #50: When huge cocoons hatch they cause even more trouble.
  52. Invid scouts go squish when hit by a ship going Mach 3.
  53. RDEFs(Random Dimensional Energy Fluxes) cause mayhem.
  54. ...Corrallary to #53: Mayhem caused by RDEFs are not always bad.
  55. Mutant Hamsters tend to be extremely hyper-active and like to get a lot of "Action".
  56. Never say "No" to the beautiful princess when she requests your presence for a date.
  57. Best resort in Space: Holly Wood Class Ship - Alpha Centuari

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Lessons_Learned.php -- Revised: January 27, 2021.