Most Common Last Words of Rifts Players and Characters
These were taken from the Palladium mailing list on the 12th and 13th Sep 1996.
- Super Samas? Hmmph, all Samas' suck!
- He's unarmed? Ok, I want to kill him in hand to hand.
- I'll let it hit me, my armour has lots of MDC
- I'm saving that spell for when I REALLY need it.
- What new CS army?
- Phase Technology, why would I need that? My NG ion pistol works just fine.
- Dragon, Schmagon, I've got a plan.
- Trust me, I know what I am doing.
- 30 seconds till the nuke goes off? Ah, plenty of time. I lean back and crack open a beer.
- Xitixic are from the first book, before everything got powerful, they're no threat.
- No worries, my E-clip is full.
- I go talk to the mysterious figure in the black cloak, sitting at that table in the dark corner of the bar.
- Let me think about this for a second.
- Click? What click? I didn't hear anything?
- Don't worry, I've got the security systems skill.
- No prob, I'll only fail if I roll a 1.
- My gun does 4D6x1000 MD!!!! There is no way this guy is gonna survive.
- Hey guys, look what I found! Mjolnir, Thor's hammer!
- Where did that Splugorth come from and why is he foaming at the mouth?
- Don't worry, they wouldn't bother to trap this way in.
- We'll take them completely by surprise!
- Ok, this is what my character is gonna do. I'm gonna jump from the plane, grab the Samas
by its arm, put a fusion block in its intake, jump away out of the blast radius, make my
body flat so I fall slower, then touch my summon griffon tatoo, land on it, and fly away.
(this has actually been attempted)
- Don't worry, hearing our plans won't affect what the GM does, he is impartial!
- Hey there (insert your GM's name), what are you grabbing all those dice for?
- Let him cast the spell, it can't affect me.
- Psionics are nothing compared to my Robot's 600 missiles? Hey, what does Tele-mechanics do anyways?
- They won't find us, I covered our tracks.
- (insert your GM's name), you have no idea what you are doing.
- Dude, I'd rather piss on your ashes than dance on your grave.
- Your momma!
- Those vampires can't get in here, all we have to do is wait till daylight. Hey, where did
all this mist come from?
- I pull my gun before he draws his.
- Badges? We don' need no steenkeen badges!
- You want to try that stuff with me tough guy?
- CS juicers? Yeah right, those are illegal!
- (mutant character newly rifted from Heroes Unlimited): let's go to this Chi-Town everyone
keeps telling us about. They sound like good people.
- What do ya mean "my fly is down"?
- Hah! My plane can fly faster than the missiles!
- Ever notice how the GM never makes any of our equipment break down?
- Stop whining, my 6th Sixth Sense power will give us plenty of warning.
- He won't be expecting this!
- That's not what it says on page 65 of the rule book :P
- Don't forget, all body armour comes with radiation shielding.
- Time to sit back and have a smoke.
- Remember the Alamo!
- My character goes and hits on the good looking woman at the bar (come on, we all know
that women will be the death of us all)
- You worry too much, I checked out this cyber-doc's credentials it isn't a chop shop...
- With this magic item, my character is now INVINCIBLE!
- Anyone else smell something burning?
- What does "en garde, my sword is a soul drinker" mean?
- Can't we all just get along?
- I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
- Ewwwww...look at me, I'm so scared.
- What kinda stupid name is "Pogtal" for a race?
- Now was it throw the grenade ON three, or count three THEN throw it?
- So, like, are all you Amazons lesbians or what?
- Why did I have to put all my magic weapon tattoos on my butt?
- Ok, so I was wrong, your gun IS bigger than mine...
- Uuuuuummmmmmmm...why didn't my missile hurt him?
- I think this is the way out...
- I'm gonna try and pick his pocket.
- Geeze, nothing seems to be a challenge for my 8th level CosmoKnight anymore.
- Are we gonna let him get away with saying that? LET'S GET HIM BOYS!
- (1st level vagabond to Dog Boy) meet any good hydrants lately?
- This isn't AD&D, nobody casts protective spells on their equipment.
- (in a secret note to GM) When it is my turn for guard duty, I am going to sneak away with
all the party's money.
- Oh yeah? I bet my character could kick your character's ass!
- No sweat boys, my dodge bonus is high enough.
- (male player to female player) Wanna go in the kitchen and grab some chips for us? Thanks babe.
- Guns don't jam in Rifts, look in the main book, there are no rules for it.
- Oh shit.
- What are you guys afraid of? Its only a group of faeries...
- Hey kid, put that down, it's not a toy. ZAP!
- Man, even for a Dragon you're ugly.
- Women players don't have the right mentality to play Rifts.
- How much? 750,000! For that piece of crap? Later ya cheat, you aren't the only Splugorth
arms merchant on Phase World.
- You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses would ya?
- All right, I've almost reached the top of the cliff. (to GM) I just got to make one more
climbing role, right?
- (player fighting Kittani serpent armour to GM) What do ya mean they've got auto dodge?
- Ok, my city-rat sneaks up on Odin and gives him a death blow!
- Come on, the campaign just started, you seriously think the GM is going to throw anything
hard at us this early?
- Geez I'm bored, when is it my turn to do something?
- Is it just me, or did it get real quiet all of a sudden?
- Ah, its just a red herring the GM made up to scare us.
- Fire elemental? No prob, I pull out my TW water pistol and roll for initiative.
- <one player to another> NPC my character for a second, I got to go to the bathroom.
- Lightning spells never strike the same place twice.
- My character has a horror factor, I'll try and scare the CS troops away.
- I take my armour off and go to sleep.
- (player to GM) You want to know who was walking last in the group?
- Glitterboys suck! They don't even get missiles!
- Honest, I wasn't reading the adventure. The book just fell off the table and flipped to
that page when I picked it up.
- How deadly can the Pecos Kingdom be, Palladium hasn't even done a book on it yet!
- I go up to the crazy and play with the knobs coming out of his head.
- I don't care how much MDC it has, it shouldn't have pissed me off!
- Geez, does this GM ever like to power trip.
- I'm not leaving till I kill something.
- Are you looking at me?
- It's only a robed lizard. (reference to lizard mage)
- We open the air lock and he (the villain) flies right out.
- Quick, we'll escape through this rift!!
- We're the PCs, you know, the heroes. The GM won't let US die.
- Come on!! We can kill him!! It's only a lone Coalition soldier.
- Why's the GM flipping through the Mechanoid book?
- The Preserves sound like a good place to hide out.
- It's a game, you know like football only with juicers. We can win!!
- Look at the pansy in tights with the "S" on his chest!
- We go into the Juicer Bar and get him.
- We run east from the Brodkils to Romania.
- I don't think that's a true "god".
- Are you sure you should be peeing on that religious statue?
- It's a loan Zavor. I'll fry him with a lightning bolt.
- Slynncryth's a smart guy, I'm sure we can reason with him.
- A million credits to break into the Monolith? Sure!!
- PC to Dog Boy (or Dog Girl <g>): "So, do you, like, 'do it' doggie style, or what?"
- (After a carpet of adhesion has been cast on a Gargoyle Lord) I'm gonna deck this guy!
- (The mystic that cast the carpet of adhesion) So how are we gonna unstick them?
- I'm gonna plant this fusion block on War!
- I am Lothar, scourge of demons! (Response: I am unimpressed.)
- (about Mechanoid overlord) But I blew off his head!
- The good guys always win.
- I never thought psionics were any good.
- Ying tong Iddle I Po! (ultra crazies power word.)
- I'll take on the overlord (With 2 Altarans in company).
- Adult dragon? What adult drag-
- Lone Star sounds neat. I sneak into the complex.
- I grab the Impaler sword out of the statue's hand.
- We're going to Atlantis? What, is that a threat?
- Palladium hasn't even done any books on the east coast! There's nothing bad there! We wanna go.
- Hey, I'm a full reconstruction cyborg! Vampires can't hurt me!
- We want to go to Atlantis so we can get some of that cool Kittani armor.
(To each other) Gee, (GM's name here) was awfully agreeable about that.
- I'VE got a Triax Ulti-Max! Those gargoyles will be no problem.
- I've got Glitter Boy armor! Nothing can kill me.
- My character tries to ride the clampmouth dragonfly.
- I don't care if I'm on their turf! I call the Trog a loser!
- I decide to fight for money in the arena. My opponent's a WHAT?
- Ha! I took the vampire to -20 hit points! It's got to be dead, now!
- I take on the wolfen. What's a Quatoria, again?
- Brodkil don't have any good powers besides turning invisible and being super-strong. A
group of them'd be easy to take on.
- We can trust Splynncryth. He gave us his word.
- Hey, what harm can a Crazy do? I mean, they're S.D.C. creatures!
- Ah, that giant's from Palladium, and they don't have any mega-damage there! Hey <insert
GM's name here>, why are you looking at Conversion book one?
- My juicer's got Automatic Dodge. NO one can touch him!
- Come on guys, an adult dragon's only a bigger version of a hatchling.
(Sounds of frantic scampering in fear) Hey, were are you guys going?
- Dog Boys suck.
- Four Horsemen? What, they just run around on big horsies? Big shmeal, *I* can take 'em.
- (To GM) I tell the Rahu-Man, "Hey, my whole party can arm-wrestle YOU! HA HA HA!"
- Whaddya mean the three-headed dog told us not to go in? I'm goin' in ANYWAY.
- (In the center of Chi-Town) My character yells, "PROSEK SUCKS!"
- (To GM) Of course I'm serious.
- God, are we there yet, are we there yet?
- If there's a cliff behind the CS soldier, I'll just put everything into an all-or-nothing
charge and push him over...I've got a PP of 32, what could possibly go wrong?
- Uh, what happens when you LOSE a fight in the Atlantis Arena, by the way?
- But CS citizens can't read! (A character who got caught in the Chi-Town burbs wearing a
'Hey, Prosek, get f***ed' t-shirt)
- "There's no way that Cyber-Knight could know about the bodies. We hid them down that well.
What do you mean 'Object Read'?"
- "Top 'o the world, Ma!"
- "Seen any good DiCapprio movies recently?"
- "I love you, you love me..."
- "Violence never solves anything."
- "Don't worry. This GM never keeps track of ammo."
- "Its just some old guy with a spear and a patch over one eye? I mug him."
- "No, I'm sure this is my lucky twenty-sider."
- "I nuke 'em with my Liberator missile!"
- "Ah, screw it. Let's go!"
- I lock myself in the room to GUARD the 10 megaton nuclear bomb that is going to go off
soon so that nobody can disarm it. BOOM! What do you mean I'm dead?
(This happend in a game once a long time ago. The party was trying to destroy
the corprate HQ of a particularly nasty company.)
- What does this button do?
- "I throw the grenade out the window"
- "I Don't care how evil he looks, Ichuck my sword at him..."
- "How tough can an old chinese geezer be anyway..."
- "She's half my size, I can hold her still..."
- "I Moon the king.."
- "How tough can the security here be..."
- "didn't atlantis sink?"
- "OK...I take off my armor and i wrestle him...I Know for a fact that vampires don't have
access to the wrestling skill.."
- "Lets see if I can catch bullets.."
- "Hi!...My name is [insert frst name] Vrax..."
- "I want to play an atorian defector..."
- "I steer my parachute under the powerlines"
- "I set the microjets in my SMG and do a full burst"
- "What are the chances i'll roll a one or a two to save..."
- "Thirty five feet? I'll jump it."
- "Catch me!!!" [to a flaming superhero team mate]
- "So I pass out...so what...Oh I'm Flying"
- "Oh yeah..see if you can negate sonic speed" [followed by SPLAT]
- "It's ok...I trust him"
- "I open the airlock and flush the thing out!"
- Bring!! [use of mobile phone while setting plastique]
- "I test to see if the floor will catch light"
- "has anyone noticed that the [fill in the blank] hasn't been attacked yet"
- [out loud in the presence of a djin] "I wish there was more action around here"
- "I'll try to repair the controlls before we crash... I roll 07, thats 62% under my
mechanical engineering skill roll....
- "I sneak up behind the badguy and backstab him with my chainsaw"
- "What is a pantheon, and why does it hate me?"
- "To all those guys with tons of MDC who think they're invincible, I have two things to
say. I have a hovercycle with two multi-missile pods! Eat this!"
- "Whaddaya mean, 'he's a martial artist with body chi', so what?"
- "Big deal, the 'Slinger gets a few pluses to initiative, I want to be known for having
out-drawn one of these overrated blowhards."
- "*How* did those cyber-snatchers take out my headjack?"
- "Shit, I got a fumble, <put in GM's Name> could you stop grinning and tell me what happens?"
- "I use deaden pain and jump."
- "Well, he's obviously a psi-stalker, he's not a heavy combat threat, focus on the samas's
first.." (Said in regards to a Psi-Stalker/Psi- Nullifier leading a coalation group.)
If you want to get ahold of me, my address is below.
Lastwords.php -- Revised: January 27, 2021.