Ghoull's Guide for Taking Everyone Else Down with You!

By: Ghoull
Created on: September 25, 1996

Sometimes, you may get the impression that your GM is trying to assassinate your character. This fun guide gives you a few artistic and humorous ways to turn the tables. Although the GM will probably still kill you no matter what, this gives you the chance to make him work really hard for it.

  1. Carry around LOTS of explosives duct taped to your body. When you get the sense that death is imminent, pull the pin, and hug either the attacker or your friends.
  2. NEVER, EVER, EVER leave the other group members. If you are left alone, the GM will take you out with a big, area-effect weapon. Remember, the GM probably wants to spare the innocent players, so sticking around them is probably the best plan.
  3. Drag the other characters into fights with your prospective assassins. Maneuver so that they are in the assassin's line of fire, and are likely to be hit by his shots. This way, the other players have to help you if they want to survive.
  4. This one's plain ol' common sense, but I'll put it in anyway. When you get the sense that death is imminent, let loose with everything you've got. To hell with ammo and PPE and ISP because you won't enjoy them for much longer. Spectacular area-effect weapons work best, especially if you've followed instruction B+C and your friends are within range.
  5. Another neat trick is to make sure that anything the group needs to complete the adventure is on your body. This way, even though you may get smoked, they'll never beat the game.

    Example: "Whew, I'm sure glad that the Sunaj which had been stalking us finally got rid of that jerk Paul. Now, where's the key we need to get into this treasure room where the princess and a billion credits are?"

    "Um...Paul had them."

    "Oh. Where's Paul's body?"

    "You're breathing it. That friggin' Sunaj used a long-range proton missile."


  6. Be sure to turn off the safeties of everything you own which has a nuclear engine. This way, when your friends start looting your stuff, the one who takes your vehicle gets a kiloton right in the face as soon as he turns the key.
  7. When you've run out of tricks, take your own character's life before you let the GM do it. Perhaps carrying around Dr. Kevorkian's Suicide Machine would be a good idea, so that you can "go with dignity" instead of on the business end of some assassin's las-rifle.

Dying_with_Style.php -- Revised: January 27, 2021.