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Game Master R.C.C. |
By: AnubisXy@aol.com
The Game Masters are, fortunately, an extremely rare species. There are maybe a dozen to half a dozen left in the entire Megaverse. They have been likened by many to the Q, the beings from the Pre-Rifts show Star Trek. They are believed to be all powerful, or very nearly so though there is one infamous story of a GM being slaughtered by his players when he attempted to GM too many at once. It is believed that the more beings a Game Master tried to GM, the weaker his powers become. It is said that long ago these beings ruled the Megaverse with an iron grasp. They would create numerous races and force them to play RPG's all day. It is believed that the Old Ones and the other Alien Intelligence's were some of the first creatures created by them. It is further believed that the Old Ones somehow broke free and devastated the Game Masters by exploiting holes in the games. This would explain why they are so scared of Munchkins and Rules Lawyers and the like.
Lord Splynncryth was sitting in his throne in Atlantis dreaming of the day that he would be ruling the Megaverse. Today had been a long day for our poor Splugorth He had been stuck in a meeting with Styphon for nearly 13 hours, and then found out that one of his most trusted advisors had decided to take off and flee to Germany. He was in fact just sick and tired of work. Everyday seemed to go the exact same way he thought.
"God I need a vacation. I need some action in my life." He mumbled to himself.
"Well, I have just what you need then," a voice suddenly rang out from across the hall.
Splyncryths' guards immediately drew large rifles and looked around for where the voice came from. A figure abruptly emerged from one of the walls. The guards immediately opened fire, however their shots bounced harmlessly off the figure. One of them, a Conservator, pulled out a plasma grenade and threw it at the approaching figure. The grenade exploded, however the figure was unfazed. He motioned with his fingers and all of the guards exploded, spraying the room with blood and gore. Splynncryth reared up and stared at this being.
"How dare you! Do you know who I am?" Splynncryth shouted out, utterly ticked off. "Nobody, NOBODY comes in here and kills my guards!"
"Yes I know who you are obviously you do not know who I am. I am not a nobody I am a somebody," stated the figure flatly. Suddenly it stepped out into the light, and Splynncryth gasped in horror and fear to find that the being appeared to be a normal human teenager. He could see a pair of coke bottle glasses sitting on the young mans face, which in turn was pocketed by acne scars.
"No! No! You can't be! Your kind was destroyed eons ago by the Old Ones," Splynncryth shouted out, totally terrified.
"You are wrong, they did not destroy me. I am the Game Master. I am omnipotent. I am all-powerful. You will do what I say or else I shall destroy you much as I destroyed you guards." The figure motioned and the great doors closed. Splynncryth was now alone with this great and powerful being.
Splynncryth stood his ground. "What do you want of me?" he asked bravely, trying to cover up his fear. In truth, he was utterly terrified. He had no idea how this being could have gotten into his private sanctuary, or how it could have killed his guards with such ease. He had in fact, thought the Game Masters had been destroyed eons ago.
The Game Master replied, "I am here to GM you."
"No! You can't! I am too busy!!!" screamed Splynncryth. He has heard horror stories about the fates of those who were GM'ed, many of which revolved around killer cows from space, huge explosions and other frightening stuff.
The Game Master said, "You must my group needs 2 new players and you are one of them, whether you like it or not."
Splynncryth realized that there was no way out of it. He would have to play at least for now. Sullenly he replied, "Who is the other?"
The Game Master thought for a moment and said, 'Dr. Desmond Bradford yes... he would be good." Suddenly he pointed and a group of strange neon colored dice appeared at Splynncryths' tentacles. "Roll those." He commanded in a menacing tone of voice. Then he snaps and a pen and paper appeared in Splynncryths hands. "Roll 3 of those 6 sided dice 8 times and then write down the results."
"What? Why should I? What will you do if I don't?" Splynncryth asked, refusing to be intimidated.
"This," the Game Master replied. He snapped his fingers and suddenly Splynncryth suddenly found himself wearing a diaper and a baby bonnet.
"What? What is the meaning of this? How DARE you do this to me! Restore me at once" he shouted out.
The Game Master glanced at Splynncryth and suddenly a large pacifier appeared in his mouth. Splynncryth sputtered, but couldn't spit the thing out, nor could he continue screaming. "Hmm, the time has come. I shall summon the group. Where would you like to play Splynncryth? I know! Let's go play on Olympus. The Game Maser snapped his fingers together and the entire world seemed to waver for a moment. When it was still once more Splynncryth looked around. He saw they were up on Olympus.
Zeus stared down at him. "Why have you entered my domain Splugorth? And why in the hell are you wearing a diaper and a baby bonnet and sucking on a pacifier?"
Aphrodite came over and picked up Splynncryth. "Obviously he's a baby Splugorth. awww.. isn't he cute! Kootchy kootchy koo!" Aphrodite began tickling Splynncryths chin. The Splugorth (obviously upset at the turn of events) smacked Aphrodite upside the head with a tentacle.
"I am Lord Splynncryth! How dare you call me cute!" he said completely enraged now.
"Now calm down there Splynn oh, and Zeus, would you mind taking you family on an outing or something?" said the Game Master. "Oh, and incest is not a good idea... that's why people stopped worshipping you." Then he snapped his fingers and Zeus, Aphrodite and the rest of the Greek gods vanished into deep space. "Ahh.. there we go. Ok, are you all set Splynncryth? Got a character rolled up?"
Splynncryth said, "Aww.. do I HAVE to be slave stock? Can't I be an Old One or something?"
To which the Game Master replied, "No. Now shut up and make your character or else..." Then he once again snapped his fingers and a small group of humanoids appeared. Splynncryth instantly recognized everyone there. All of them were rather important movers and shakers on the world of Rifts earth. Bradford stood there holding a beaker, completely surprised at what happened. Alistar Dunscon was sitting on the ground. He had obviously been in the middle of a summoning of some sort as he was chanting. Slowly the chanting died and he looked around. At the same time, Emperor Prosek appeared out of thin air. He looked around startled and tried to figure out where he was. Last but not least, Erin Tarn appeared as well. She looked around for a moment and then clapped her hands
"Yay! It's game time! I've been looking forward to this forever," shouted Erin Tarn gleefully.
"Oh damnit, not again," mumbled Dunscon. "I was RIGHT in the middle of summoning a demon lord. Can't we put this game on hold?"
"Yeah can we wait a bit? I was just preparing a new battle plan for our attack on the Federation of Magic no offense or anything Alistar," said Emperor Prosek.
"Quite all right there old chap, I understand and would be doing the same thing if I were in your shoes," stated Dunscon.
"Greetings again my companions! The time has come again for our weekly game. As you know, in the last game the Angel of Death and Odin both died, so unfortunately they were thrown out. However I am pleased to announce I have two new players. Say hello to Dr. Bradford and Lord Splynncryth."
The group turned to Splynncryth and Bradford.
"Hello there you newbies! Hahaha, you'll wish you hadn't shown up," chortled Erin Tarn.
"Ahh! Great to have you old boy!" said Prosek to Bradford.
"What the hell is going on here? Who are you and why is Splynncryth sucking on a pacifier and wearing a diaper?" asked Bradford.
"I am the Game Master. I am all-powerful and you shall do what I say or else. Now I am saying for you to sit down and roll up a character." Bragged the GM.
"Or else what? What could you possibly do to me? You can't touch me. You're just a snotty arrogant little SOB with too much time on his hands." retorted Bradford
"This," said the Game Master simply. Suddenly there was a horrible scream of pain. It sounded like thousands of demons wailing in utter agony. Slowly however, the group heard what it was. It sounded like a large bovine going, "MOOOOOOOOO!"
"A cow? What could a cow do to me?" snickered Bradford.
Abruptly there was a horrible splintering sound as a gigantic cow fell through the ceiling and squished Bradford. The Game Master leisurely picked up a handful of dice and rolled them. "6 plus 5 plus 12 plus 9 plus 6 take 38 times one million damage. I am afraid you are dead." The broken body of Desmond Bradford vanished as abruptly as it had arrived. Gone too was the cow. "Now it seems we need a new player... but we'll worry about that next week. As you all see, that is what happens to people who mock me and my game."
The remaining players nodded dully and looked at one another with terrified looks on their faces. Though they were all mortal enemies they knew they would have to work together to escape and live to see another day.
The Game Master (GM) R.C.C.
(Not recommended as a Player Character unless you love having all powerful characters who can do anything...)
Stats:
IQ: 25+1d4. They are incredibly smart but make mistakes every now and then. A wise person will not point their mistakes out to them, as the vast majority have been known to die in horrible ways.
MA: 1 for the purpose of getting someone to trust them (I mean come on... who REALLY trusts their GM) but 30 for the purpose of intimidation. (Face it, when they can drop a cow on you, you are intimidated)
ME: 1 GMs just can't take insults or anything. In fact it is quite easy to make Game Masters lose their cool. They are much like spoiled children who are used to getting their way all the time. Unfortunately, you don't WANT them to lose control because they will drop a cow on your head.
PS: Variable. They are as strong as they want to be.
PE: Again, this is variable. If they want to have a PE of 1 they can, or a PE of 5000.
PP: Again, variable.
PB: 6+1d4. GMs don't look hot, but they don't care. If they ever need to look good they can raise their PB as high as they want. However they typically have a PB around 7-10
MDC: 2d4
Natural Abilities: Game Masters are impervious to any and every form of attack except for two.
An attack leveled by a Munchkin does 1 MD damage to them, regardless of the form of attack. This explains why Game Masters is terrified of munchkins and kills them whenever he gets the chance.Another weakness is Rules Lawyers. For every 5 minutes they spend arguing with a Rules Lawyer, a Game Master looses 1 MDC. One ingenious lawyer has managed to kill 3 GMs simply by arguing with them (usual arguments include, "well that's not what it says here," and, "well the laws of physics say you can't do this").
Manipulate Reality. This is the big one. It allows the GM to manipulate reality in anyway he wants. For example he could kill someone with a glance or bring the dead to life. He can collapse a universe if he wants. Basically he can do ANYTHING. This ability is natural and costs nothing. However it is really annoying for other people.
Weaknesses: All GMs suffer from the God syndrome and truly believe they are above mortal laws. They also have a phobia and an obsession-hatred: for munchkins and Rules Lawyers.
Damage:
Cow from Space: For some reason, the vast majority of Game Masters enjoys a single attack called the Cow from Space. To be honest nobody knows how much damage this attack does (not even the Game Master). There is a horrible wailing sound followed by a loud, "MOOOOOOO!" and then a gigantic cow falls on the target. The GM then grabs a handful of dice, rolls them, and then multiplies the number rolled by another, much larger number (like a million, or a billion, or even more) and the being the cow landed on dies. There are reports however of powerful munchkins actually surviving this attack! This could be another reason why GMs hate munchkins There is also a story about a Rules Lawyer who somehow managed to out argue (and kill!) a Game Master when the GM tried to drop a cow on another player. There are other variants of this attack (including the Grand Piano from Space, the Battleship from Space, and the NPC from Space. All seem to do an equal amount of damage).
Skills: Any and all at 99% (even GMs make mistakes once in a while, though when they do, do NOT point it out else you could be the next target from the Cow from Space.)
Magic: Everything at one million times the normal range/duration/damage and at no PPE cost.
Psionics: Same as magic.
Basically these guys are a slightly less powerful form of the Supreme Being mentioned in Pantheons.
" And so, the party managed to defeat the evil dragon lord and save the world." Finished off the Game Master.
"Huh that was actually kind of fun," said Splynncryth.
"No way! It sucked damnit! I should have killed the Dragon King. You just got lucky because of that natural 20." Shouted Alister Dunscon.
"No way sure Splynncryth got the girl and killed the Dragon King, but I got the Hackmaster +12. Besides, even if he rolled a 1 he would have killed the Dragon King" Bragged Prosek.
Erin Tarn nodded. "Yeah, you know Splynny, you aren't so bad after all you're kind of cute you know that?"
Splynncryth blushed bright red and Alistar and Prosek started making puking sounds and then started singing, "Erin and Splynny sittin in a Millennium tree, R-I-F-T-I-N-G!!!"
"And so it ends! Remember everything that happened because we will continue next week!" Suddenly there was a bright flash of light and the GM and all the players vanished, leaving Splynncryth returned in his throne room.
"That is the LAST time I ask for some action," mumbled Splynncryth to himself as he began preparing for National Sing-a-long Night there at the Arena.
Standard disclaimers apply... See, I admit NOT Kevin Siembieda, nor did I help create Rifts or anything else they owned. Do I wish I did? Hell yes! But unfortunately I didn't... see? I'm not trying to trick you into thinking I am really Kevin by not putting a disclaimer in here...
Oh yeah.. second disclaimer.. I am not responsible for any deaths, destruction, mutilations, or anything else that is caused by the reading of this post. These came from my brain and if you want to blame something, blame it. I am not responsible for its twisted ramblings...