Palladium Humor Files

Here are some of the most classified documents that survived the Coming of the Rifts. Please be careful with what you do with this information, in the wrong hands it could cause the down fall of the CS or Atlantis.

Real Men, Real Roleplayers...

• Heroes Unlimited Edition
• Ninja & Superspies Edition
• Rifts Edition
• Robotech: Macross
• Systems Failure Edition

How to tell if you're Addicted to Role Playing Games:

• You Might Be a Gamer If...
• You're Obsessed with RPG's if...
• Gamers Purity Test.

Murphy's Laws:

• Murphy's Laws of Combat Operations - A guideline in staging your military operations.
• Murphy's Laws of RPG's - This is only a beginning; Feel free to send in new rules and ideas. I'll add them to the bodymed.

Top Five Lists:

• Top Five Things you Hear When Munchkins Play a BtS Victims Game

Top Ten Lists:

• Top Ten Bad Character Names
• Top Ten Bad Netbooks
• Top Ten CS Bumper Stickers
• Top Ten Dirty Tricks for Teleporters
• Top Ten Dumb Group Names
• Top Ten Headlines in Palladium Hell
• Top Ten O.C.C.'s You'll See from Palladium in the Near Future
• Top Ten Pet Peeves of Evil NPC's
• Top Ten Pet Peeves of Itomas
• Top Ten Reasons Robotech is Better Than Rifts
• More Top Ten Reasons Robotech is Better Than Rifts
• Top Ten Signs that Itomas is going Insane
• Top Ten Signs that Kevin Siembieda is Going Insane
• Top Ten Signs that Your GM is Psycho - Ever wonder if your GM is Psycho? Here's a great way to find out.
• Top Ten Things Wrong with Juicers
• Top Ten Ways to Get Arrested by the CS
• Top Ten Ways to Kill a Borg

Lessons to Learn Before you Start Playing:

• (in)Famous NPC Lines - Some NPC's have so much personality, that when your PC does something to piss them off they have the perfect lines to say as they send your character to the next level of existence.
• How to Annoy your GM - When you're stuck gaming and the GM is a major munchkin, here's what you do. : )
• Important Things to Remember - If you going to play Rifts® memorize these. <G>
• Killing your PC Quickly - Here are some of the best ways.
• Last Words - There are some Character deaths that are so amusing simply because of the interesting things they end up saying right before their demise.
• Lessons Learned - Here are some very good things to learn BEFORE you start Role Playing. It's always better then learning the hard way. Don't be a statistic, learn from these folks mistakes.
• Player Blunders - Here are some mistakes you should learn not to do.
• Ghoull's Guide for Taking Everyone Else Down with You! - When your GM decides to "remove" your character from the game, this will help you go down with style. : )
• Things to do when you're Invulnerable

Palladium Fantasy Humor:

• Why Elves are Better then Dwarves -
• You know you've played PFRPG to long when...

Rifts Humor:

• 'Borg Matchups
• S.D.C. in Rifts - A great dialoge advacating an S.D.C. based game.
• Splurgoth Paradise
• Thanksgiving Rifts Style - Here's how to celebrate Turkey day of the Apocalypse.
• You Know You've Played Rifts too long when... -
• Your Rifts Game is Munchkin when... - A collection taken from several posts to the Palladium Mailing List.
• Rifts Commerical - Condoms
• Juicer Slogans
• Rifts Baseball
• You Know you have problems in Rifts when...
• Rifts Skills (Humor)
• Munckintech Industries
• The 12 Days of Rifts Christmas
• Twas a Night Before Christmas Rifts Style

Nightspawn Humor:

• Campaign to Convert Palladium to Nightspawn - The Smutlord has taken it upon himself to run this campaign. This is what he sees if Palladium dedicates its' self to producing only Nightspawn books.

Muchkin Humor:

• Munchkin Scale - Here is a good way to determine what type of players you're with.
• The Munckin Carol - Here is the Munckins christmas carol.

GM Humor:

• GM Purity Test
• How to Teach your PC's Humility...
• 5 Simple things a GM can do to piss of his players

Miscellaneous Humor:

• Battle Cries
• Palladium Theme Songs -
• How to be a Cultist - The definitive guide.
• When the Aliens Invade - Don't forget, to try and see it from their prospective before you start an interplanetary war over the matter.
• For you Evil Overlords out there here is some help for your stay in power:
  • Top 100 Guidelines
  • More Guidelines
  • Even more Guidelines
• Ninjitshoe - Here is the martial arts form that American Maid™ is famous for using. Use at your own risk.
• Answers to FlashFire's Questions
• Creating D-Bees and Intelliegnet Monsters - Here are some guidelines for creating new races to encounter.
• Quotes From Simcon '99
• Remember When?

Palladium Mailing List Humor:

• PML Newbie Test
• Life of a Mailing list - Ever wonder what stages a mailing list goes through during it's life.
• Making Your Own Alignment - Can't figure out what alignment to give your character or have you ever wonder what your's is? Now you can find out!
• Palladium Mailing List Lurkers Manifest
• PML Awards Oct. 1999

Robotech Humor:

• Robotech Drinking Game

Systems Failure Humor:

• I Got Some Rounds (song)

index.php -- Revised: January 27, 2021.